Should I wait for him?

Dear Dr. Rainford,

I was in a relationship with only one person for the last 7 years. In those seven year he left me alone twice without telling me anything, but he came back and we started dating again. We were living happily with each other until January 2017.   He went to Canada and upon his return he became irritable towards me. After that he left me again in May 2018.  Now, I am waiting for him. I trust God and I believe that he will come back one day. Please guide me on what to do?

 

Dear  “Lady in waiting”,

 I am sorry that you are in this difficult situation but I believe it is time for you to let him go.  Any man, who despite your long-term relationship feels it is okay to leave you without notice, is not the man you want. Yes you can be grateful and appreciate the happy times you had together but freeing yourself from him will liberate you from the anxiety that you likely experience when you are hoping for someone to return to your life but not sure if he ever will.  It also allows you the opportunity to be open to new relationships.   He may return again if it suits him but it seems that he is putting his needs above yours and that is unlikely to leave you feeling happy in the long run.  My hope for you is that you remain open and allow in your life a man who loves and values you, not less than, but as much as he values himself.

Disclaimer: This advice is based on my opinion and is not a substitute for professional advice.