I had the pleasure of seeing the movie Hidden Figures recently. For those who haven't seen it you might want to save reading this until after. I found it absolutely inspiring and perhaps more so because I am a woman and a woman of color.
However as a person who writes and speaks about relationships I was very impressed by the marriages of each of the main characters. The love and mutual respect between each woman and her spouse was highlighted. I appreciated that despite Katherine’s initial interest in Jim she was not going to tolerate any lack of respect on his part. He had to prove to her that he truly appreciated her for who she was, a woman with beauty and brains. He also had to realize that he was not just marrying her but marrying her entire family including her three children. It certainly paid off; she and her husband have been married for almost sixty years.
I appreciated that despite Mary’s initial conflict with her husband about trying to become an engineer he gave her his full support. I appreciated the scene of Dorothy and her husband dancing in a warm embrace.
These women had long successful marriages to men who supported them in their success rather than belittled or minimized it.
So my message to all you beautiful, smart educated women in choosing the right man; if he feels that your success is in competition with his –move on.
If he feels that you need to tone down your ambitions or your achievements -move on.
If he feels that if your light shines brightly his will be dimmed - move on
If he is jealous of your achievements - move on
Because, the right man will be proud of your success. He will be the biggest supporter of your dreams. He recognizes that if your light shines, his will shine also. He recognizes that your happiness and satisfaction is a priority. When you have found a man who loves you and has all these characteristics,
You have found a #goodgoodlove.